This is going to be my rise. This will be for you.

Stuff.

I only have one final next week! My life is coming together - I'm moving to my own place next weekend, working two jobs (only one of which I enjoy...), and I have Billboard's Top 100 of 2000. It's like being at the skating rink or one of those awkward middle school dances that no one danced at until the last ten minutes. It's kind of cool to see the way artists have changed over the last 11 years, like Enrique or Christina Aguilera.

I have a marketing test in a half hour, haven't looked at anything for it. So I guess I'm guessing on everything. I hate this class. The only class I like is my advertising class. Stats was only tolerable because I sat next to Tyler, but now that's over. Oh well.

Zach moved to Texas and is still married. I still think it's stupid. On a side note, I bought a blender for $15 and a George Foreman for $10, but I"ll probably return the blender because Zach left one home that I can use.

I've been feeling a little lonely lately. I have plenty of friends, but the only person I do anything with is Justin. I've been getting annoyed by him a lot lately. He's been picking dumb fights with me for the last two days. I'm just sick of this. It's like mine and Matt's relationship - the bs happened, things were good for a month, then right back to where we were. It's really only a matter of time before this is done, too. Except this time, I'm not going to drag it out. Well, I suppose I wasn't the one that dragged it out with Matt.

Thinking of taking voice lessons. I think I want to make a video blog. Not sure yet, but the possibility is there. Maybe I'll get back into piano too. In case it's lost to you, I want it to be a music blog. It won't be as awesome as Dr. Horrible's, though; how unfortunate.

... Fuck marketing.

What If?

I just watched that movie and it's got me thinking...

Well, first off, an update on my brother. I like how they were in a big rush to get married because she apparently had a job all lined up for her in the air force, and now they've told her that too many people are enlisting and there's no room for her so she's on hold right now. Good job.

Anyway, I was hoping you'd be on iChat tonight. But you weren't. I just want you to know that I haven't stopped thinking about you and I never have. I don't know what to do because I don't want to think about you, especially after the things you did to me while we were together, and the things you did to me while we weren't... I know it's not a big deal to you, but I wish you understood what a big deal it was to me. I know you will never understand why it hurt so much, and I'm just going to have to accept that. I'll never know why you would do those things to me, even after we said we wouldn't do that to each other.

I don't know, I guess I'm holding on for a lost cause, or no cause at all. I know you don't feel the things I do, and I'm just going to have to settle and move on with my life. It's tough, because even though you did what you did, I still want, in the worst way, to be with you. Does this make me a bad person? Perhaps, especially when the person I'm with would never do what you did. But I can't get you out of my head, and I can't decide if that's what I want or if it's pure irritation to a sane mind.

I hate feeling this way and I hate feeling NOTHING for anyone else. I'm planning a trip soon. I suspect I will see you. And a part of me hopes this song is playing when our eyes meet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPEBN2dVNUY&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TLYY8fbqxByro
or maybe this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s0s_ZlwaOs&feature=autoplay&list=TLYY8fbqxByro&index=5&playnext=2

What. The. Fuck.

My life is so fucked up right now, I don't even have words to describe it or what's going on right now.

Married.

Well, he did it. My brother, the idiot, got married yesterday in a courthouse in Texas. I have not yet congratulated him and my mom thinks it's bullshit that I haven't yet. Well, it could possibly be because I don't support his dumb ass. "Well, it's about unconditional love of your family." Yeah, I love my brother, but that still doesn't mean I have to support his dumb decision. "You're just jealous then." And Justin couldn't have put it any better when he said this:

I wish I could live in Texas with my in laws that I just met with rattle snakes all over the place and 5000 degree temperatures after marrying someone in a yeehaw courthouse somewhere that I just met like three days ago and only did so so I could live off the the government because I know I can't support myself.

Then my mom said, "At least he didn't elope in Vegas." No, mom, he didn't. He eloped in Texas.

Timeline of events.

Here is a timeline of events:

Sometime in 2008-2009: Zach meets Ashley.
Between meeting and January 2011: They hung out a few times when she came to visit people (supposedly).
January 2011: Zach goes to Texas with his bff and hangs out with her (his bff is also her brother).
March 2011: Zach decides to tell us they are getting married.
Later March 2011: They're getting married in a courthouse in Texas.
April 2011: Bridal shower the day before Easter.
June 2011: Wedding ceremony in Texas.

This is stupid. I don't want to stand up in the wedding and I don't want to help with the bridal shower. I don't know her. This is really creating some hostile feelings in me.

So much BS.

That's right. Bullshit. 100% bullshit.

What's wrong? you ask. Well, my brother decided to bring his NEW girlfriend (like a month tops) over a couple weeks ago for us to meet her. Then this last weekend occurred, in which he thought it was a fantastic idea to tell us that they're getting married in Texas next week when he goes down there.

His logic: We've technically been together for three years and I've seen her a few times. Like every time she came to visit, I would go on a break with Michelle.

Um, no you didn't, because I would have heard about them. AND get this. He got engaged to Michelle so that he could try and get over his feelings for Ashley. Tell me that's not stupid. Then he shouldn't have been with Michelle for almost two years. Sooo... yea someone explain this.

On top of that, they decided that even though they're getting married in a COURTHOUSE, they absolutely can't wait to have an actual ceremony in June. We are expected to all fly down to Texas for a SUNDAY ceremony. W. T. F.

It's really stressing everyone out.

Did I mention she's going into the Air Force and he won't be able to be with her for like four or five months for basic and AIT? And then if she gets deployed somewhere he can't go? Holy shit, this is a terrible idea.

To-Do List.

I did a couple things today, and it's only 11:45 in the morning. 1. Went back on Facebook because I'm tired of not keeping in touch with my friends; 2. Established going to wings with Lynn; 3. Established hanging out with Chelsea. It feels good to have some girlfriends back in my life.

Not really sure how much I like what Facebook has become since I left and came back. I don't know. Whatever. But I'm back there now, so good for me. It's like a weight has been lifted. I'm just starting to do the stuff I want to do. I'm tired of giving up things and not being happy. I'm glad I could get back on and be able to be in contact with my friends again.

Most pathetic website I've ever been to.

I Decided...

I decided it's been awhile since I posted last. I've been really involved in the Pokemon game Justin got me for Valentine's Day, as well as working a bunch and doing other things like fucking off and going out with friends.

I've been spending a lot of time with Chelsea from work. Good for me! A girlfriend! We went out with Shannon on Friday too, so that was a good time. I had a lot of fun.

I've got a huge problem with Dianna at work. What kind of problem would a hostess encounter? you may ask. She never listens to anything anyone says to her. Scenario: There were hibachi reservations on Saturday that had been made at least two days prior. Two groups of people walked in, one being someone I used to see and his new girlfriend and her two kids. But that's not really the point. Well, it is a little, since it contributed to Dianna's poor decision making, which is all her decision making. She decided that, because Nick and his girlfriend had kids, and that they had been waiting for over an hour (after they made reservations for 7:30 after they just walked in and made them), that they had to go at the first empty hibachi table, leaving one group that had made the reservations two days in advance to wait for the next available table. Not to mention she did this even after the floor manager said that was the wrong way to seat people. It's like, are you dumb? Can you use your brain? Do you know how? Apparently she smokes a lot of weed and takes a bunch of percocet and adderall. It's like, OK just do what you want. It was at this point I yelled at her in the middle of the full dining room and didn't help her out the rest of the night.

Anyway. My big dilemma at the moment is deciding if I need to eat this bag of chips I purchased.

Enjoy this illustration of how a unicorn is made:

Today... Not So Exciting.

Well this week is full of awesomeness and tests. Tests being the awesomeness in this scenario. I'm being sarcastic. I have a learning and conditioning test today (gag) and on Thursday I have a test on Hinduism and another in stats. Hooray, stats (vomit). I should be studying for psych. But... clearly, I am not.

Oh boo. I ate my lunch and now all I have left is yogurt and half a can of diet Pepsi. Disappointment at its finest. Not to mention today is Valentine's Day. I got Justin a card and a heart maze, because they came in a pack of six for a dollar. He finally got the rest of his Christmas present last weekend. Talk about delay - I ordered it in November. I also may have stated this in an earlier entry. Today also marks a year since I've been to Winona. I never want to remember that day - well, night - again. What a terrible day it was last year. I spent most of it crying.

I got a parking ticket today. I couldn't find a single quarter in my car, but I was able to find a bunch of pennies, which the meters don't accept, and a dead bee.

I don't have any news links for you to enjoy today. I want to see C-Lo's Grammy performance, but the Grammy's have blocked youtube content. Le sigh.

Another Day.

It's another day. There is some good news, though. I got my first ever score that was higher than a D on anything from stats. Yay me! I like this professor. He goes slow, gives hints, and waits until everyone understands it. Not to mention, we don't have to memorize any formulas. I think that was my downfall the last couple times. I could only remember one formula, so I used that formula for everything. You laugh, but I am not joking. Actually, laughing is ok, because I laughed too.

I'm really crossing my fingers for that marketing internship. I thought the interview went well. We laughed, chatted - it wasn't really an interview as much as it was a conversation. The girl that came out before me didn't look like she had brought any work to show, and they weren't talking when they came out, like we were. I'm really really hoping for this. So everyone else, cross your fingers too!

I started working out again today. I need to start eating better too. Seafood is on sale at a store near me, and since my mom is also interested in getting her and my dad to eat better, maybe I can talk them into some tuna steaks tonight.

Justin has an interview tomorrow for a better job with better hours, so I hope he gets that too.

Apparently my marketing class schedule has been pushed back, so I don't have a reading quit until the 17th. Those things are such jokes. They're online, open book, and you get two attempts. I'm not complaining. I'm doing well so far this semester, so I'm really optimistic about everything. That's right, for the first time since I transferred to UW-Whitewater, I am optimistic about school. Maybe it's because I'm winding down and only have one class in the fall. Yea, that's probably it. It's that last little push. I need it - it's fueling me to just gtfo and do real world stuff. Like a real life job and a real life relationship with pets together and marriage and kids and our own business on the side, and moving to the south and opening a pub that serves Friday fish fries to a culture (for lack of a better word) that doesn't know wtf a good old northern fish fry is.

Stuff:
Mario has had almost as many jobs as me.
An asteroid headed for earth?
College alternatives. Why didn't anyone tell me about this?
Ice volcanoes.
Baseball and Bueller.
Olivia Wilde (only because Justin likes her).
Rescue your food!

I also found this humorous.

Snow

Sooo... Just trying to figure out why school isn't closed today. There are cars in ditches and I was sliding around and having snow blown at my car from drifts and not being able to get up hills very well. So I drove ten minutes, decided it sucked, and came home. F that, I'm not going in a ditch to get to school.

Great.

I've spent the last couple days trying to speed the PC at home up. I'm so glad I have a laptop.

I was greatly discouraged to discover the reason of my Sims 3 failing to work. I don't have a supported video card, which irritates me greatly. This is the reason I've been trying to speed up the PC. I finally got everything done; spyware, malware, anti-virus (though I can't really figure out how to move the virus to the quarantine with the dumb program my mom has), and registry. I thought everything was going to be ok, and then the CD wouldn't read in the drive. So I'm trying one last thing - Microsoft Fix It. I really hope this works or I will need to get myself a new laptop. This one is fine, but I wouldn't mind a video card that worked, and I'm not about to pay to replace it.

Some Days

First off, I woke up with a stomach ache when I wanted to wake up early and work out because I'm getting fat again. So I woke up an hour later, fed the dogs, and made some breakfast. Lexi, the big idiot she is, climbed up on the couch with me and decided that it was time to play, knocking the coffee out of my hand. At least it landed on some newspaper and not my clothes or the carpet. Showered, left the house a little later than I wanted, and realized about halfway through my commute that I had left my marketing binder at home. The binder with the first attempt of my quiz in it. The binder with my marketing book in it. FML.

But then I found a parking spot. But I'm still irritated. Maybe I can convince Justin to grab it from my house and meet me somewhere so I don't have to go all the way back home. What a waste of gas that would be. UGHHHH.

Oh goody. I just checked the quiz and I can print the attempt out. Now all I need to do is find a marketing book.

Fur Party.

No, it's not what you're thinking, you dirty dirty person. I'm dying my hair tonight with Justin for the first time in maybe two years or so. I'm excited about that.

I knew it was going to be a good day when I couldn't find a non-metered spot and then I pulled into a metered spot with two hours on it. You can imagine my elation (does that make sense in context?). Then, just when I thought the day couldn't get better, it did. I was waiting outside my Eastern religions class and decided to check my email, when the second surprise of my day happened - my 3:45 class was cancelled! Hooray. On a lame note, I have to drive 45 minutes out to school tomorrow for a 50 minute class. I'm mad at my one Friday class. Why couldn't it have just been a Monday/Wednesday class? What a dumb... idea. Also, this weekend will be filled with assignments for stats (gag), marketing, and Eastern religions. Boo.

Anyway, I just thought I would share my good fortune. Well, I thought I had good fortune, until I realized the amount of bullshit work I have to do this weekend.

Things that are better and more interesting than school:
Best companies to work for in 2011.
Ewwww,
This is hilarious and she shouldn't be lawsuiting anyone for something that happened out of her not paying attention.
The mafia still exists? Or existed?
This is kind of cute.
Non-healthy kids food.
Makeup is important.
Compton.
JFK.
Wal Mart doing something good?
These pictures are stunning.
Curing the sweet tooth.

Another Day

Another day, another fight. This is getting stupid and ridiculous. I'm not sure why we always have to fight, but we do, and its irritating. That's as far as I'm going to go there.

My friends have become pieces of shit lately. No one calls me except Kristen anymore. I tried to get together with Amber a month or two ago and she was all excited to hang out, until she found out it was me texting her and not her step sister or some bs. You could say that effectively ended our friendship. Last night Lynn texted me asking what I was doing. I told her I was busy but asked what she was doing Thursday. Apparently that's the night she gets drinks with her friends. Ok, I wasn't aware I wasn't included in your friends group. Not like I want to hang out with a group of 21 year olds that can't control themselves, it's just the way she said it.

All I want to do is eat my Jimmy John's sub, but I'm texting Justin every three seconds because of our fight.  It started yesterday when I made the mistake of telling him I had an interview for a second job this morning and he complained that we would never see each other. Well I'm sorry I'm trying to pay off my credit card and make some extra cash to start saving for when I graduate and so I can purchase a new iPod since mine was stolen from my car in my driveway. And also a new laptop, since the video card in this one is fucked. I can't play The Sims 3, which is all I want to do since I gave up playing World of Warcraft - and right before the new expansion came out, damn it all. I really do enjoy that game. Too bad it costs $40/3 months to play. I'll probably start back up again when I start paying my card and have some extra money to spend.

Winter is a very blah, but these stories are not:
Jobs that pay a lot.
Blockbuster was my first job. Ha ha.
Edgar Allen Poe.
Not learning stuff in college? Who would have thought?!

Who do you think you are...?

Spring 2011

Well, school has started back up, allowing me time to revisit the blog between classes, or during a class which I find boring. I'm sorry for the neglect for anyone who may have been keeping up with me.

I had two classes back to back, one of them being stats for psychology. I dread that class with every square inch of my body and soul. I hate stats and I hate psychology. I suppose that's what I get for making it my minor (the whole reason in the first place being so I wouldn't have to take stats), transferring to a school near my house in Wisconsin, and having to take two additional classes in psychology anyway. How lame.

Between stats and marketing, I went to the book store to rent my books for the semester. I currently have them all in my backpack because I wasn't going to go to the book store, get 1,304 pounds of books, walk back to my car in the dumb cold, and then walk back to the building that was across from the book store to go to class.

I'm also tired, since I forced myself to sleep at 1:30 this morning and had my TV set to sleep after two hours. I woke up at 6, was in and out until about 7:15, and then was just awake until I had to get out of bed at 8. I won't have the luxury of sleeping tomorrow either, since I have an interview at 9. That means I get to wake up at 7, hooray.

Other than the immediate events, nothing exciting is going on. Mom is in Mexico with my aunt and her new husband and my grandpa at my aunt's condo. I wonder wtf her husband does that he has a huge house in Chicago and a condo in Mexico. Whatever it is, sign me up.

I'm going to jump in to my last full semester and hope I don't fall behind.